Only me, God, only me.

It seems I have been put in the middle of another crisis I can’t fix. Why do you keep doing this to me? Are you just going to keep torturing me until I GIVE IN TOO???  Fair? hahahaha I think you bent the rules a litttle bit, bud.

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  1. #1 by anonymousrealthoughts on September 19, 2013 - 2:23 pm

    I know there are times when it feels like there is too much for us to withstand. I have felt that way more than once. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. The only thing I can do during those times is trust in God and believe I can get through it somehow. Thankfully humans are adaptive and can adapt to many situations and overcome them. And often that process is at a snail’s pace. But slow and steady wins the race! 🙂 Keep trudging along and believing you can do it! Somehow and some way!

    • #2 by Frantic Living on September 19, 2013 - 6:25 pm

      The crisis I was in actually led me to a spectacular person who is helping others cope with PTSD. I guess things do happen for a reason. 😉

      • #3 by anonymousrealthoughts on September 20, 2013 - 9:12 am

        I think they must. I have PTSD, too. It’s not easy to live with.

      • #4 by Frantic Living on September 20, 2013 - 10:09 am

        No it’s not. Especially when you’re tense for no reason. It’s hard to go sleep and you can’t figure out why. And you have random anxieties that nobody has even heard of. I feel so conflicted right now. In between faith and not. Why would God put such sweet children with such bad parents? Not assuming that’s where your PTSD stems from. Where does it come from? What happened?

  2. #5 by anonymousrealthoughts on September 28, 2013 - 2:57 pm

    My PTSD is because I was attacked at work by someone with autism and mental retardation. I was in the driver seat of the van and couldn’t get loose and he grabbed me by the hair and hit me, ripped my hair out, tried to bite me and I tore my rotator cuff holding him off. The doctor told me I was lucky to be alive because of the shaking he did to my head and neck. I wondered for a long time what the hell was wrong and why it happened. I was doing good work and helping “those” people and I nearly lost my life and I nearly died. Then I had to fight workers comp for 2 years and be scrutinized and raked over the coals and treated as if I did something wrong. I was angry at the world. But God didn’t do that to me. Man did. God sustained me when I would fall into a heap and just cry for what seemed to be no reason. I was crying for a reason…I was falling apart and reliving it constantly. I went to therapy and got my shit together. I don’t blame God. I blame people for being jerks in life. There are good ones and bad ones. Have you read When Bad Things Happen To Good People? It’s good. I also did a DBT class to help with my anger and how I was dealing with it. And another person to check out is Byron Katie or Katie Byron. Can’t remember what her name is right off hand. Her audiobook is AMAZING! I listen about once every 2 months to remind myself to keep trying. It’s all good! We don’t have to be who we were raised to be. You’re yourself and you can be whoever and whatever you want to be!

  3. #6 by Frantic Living on September 28, 2013 - 3:17 pm

    Yeah, when I was little I was in the bathroom at school. This girl with down syndrome kicked me in the stomach for NO reason. I knew I couldn’t say anything because of her genetic abnormality. It would have been “wrong” or I would have been told I somehow provoked it. You’re right, it was man who did this. I try to do good and help people but constantly get shit on. I will have to read When Bad Things Happen To Good People. I never knew that existed, and always wondered WHY bad things happen to good people. I am going to a special therapy now for PTSD. I don’t know how effective it is. I think I need a more interpersonal approach. Sometimes, I just feel like it’s too late for me. I mean, I am 30 and have been suffering for years and am just now coming face to face with the real root of all my problems. I am sad and frustrated and yes, still angry. I mean, growing up, my friends used to get pissed at me when I said I hated myself or if I was sad. They’d say I was always sad or angry or something. They didn’t understand. I mean, I didn’t even understand. Thanks for understanding and helping. I’ve just felt so alone.

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