I don’t know what else to do right now except write. I just feel like such a sad sack of bones right now. I used to be so confident and now I feel desperate. I never wanted to come across as desperate? That makes me look creepy. I just, sigh, I don’t know. I need guidance? I need advice. I need friends. I lost all that when I decided to isolate myself for my own good. But, when I tried to emerge back in the world. It wasn’t so friendly anymore. It had forgotten about my charm and charisma and intellect. It saw me as dull and uninteresting and useless. I wish I had not emerged out of my cocoon feeling that way. I’ve just been beaten to the ground over and over and over so much with so much cruelty. Every time I try to reach out. STRIKE, right to the soul. I can barely get back up. I don’t think I’ll ever be that pretty butterfly everyone adores again. I feel sick.