I just realized how pathetic i’ve let myself become. I guess when you can’t feel anything anymore there’s no point in even trying to fake the emotion. You’re already dead. You have been for years. I don’t know how I am supposed to get that back. Sometimes I think it might be too late for me. I have been broken for so long that it just becomes another scratched record. Maybe learn from my mistakes. Don’t wait so long to realize you’ve been traumatized. It’s not worth it to try and avoid what happened it will only cause you worse pain as you get older. Heed my words.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you for rejecting me by never being there, fuck you for making me feel shit about myself, fuck you for bleeding the fucking love and life out of me, fuck my father for fucking up my life for good and fuck my mother for not leaving him, but most of all, fuck you God for making me love a person who does not exist,
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. – Sarah Kane 4:48 Psychosis