Well, not really.
Considering the fact that it has been eating away at me the two or so years ago it was sent to me. These are the so called “friends” I had once associated with and at the minimal rate of me doing so, trusted. This display of anger and hatred towards me, well, obviously had been brewing for years. What blew the lid off though, was when we had left a bar to go meet this guy she’d been talking to from an online dating website.I unintentionally took the attention away from her, like this was going to be any different.This was no usual “bff” fight. This is not something you just put behind you and move on. This was complete and utter termination. Me, being the idiot that I am, had already given her more chances than any normal self respecting human being would dream of.This was the end.
i really dont know what the fuck your problem is. i have never done anything but be a great friend to you. i have cared for you when no one else did and stood up for you will no one else would. you have attacked me multiple times and treated me like garbage multiple times. i still stood beside you and tried to understand you and help you the best i could. i have tried repeatedly to help you out of every fucking hole you put yourself in and im seriously over trying. all you ever do it treat me like garbage and talk shit behind my back. you use me just like you use everyone else that cares about you.. you use me until you have no reason to use me anymore and then you spred lies and bullshit about me? i am constantly amazed at how horrible a person you are. first of all.. i never said ANYTHING to ANYONE about you.. so stop your lies. there is not one thing i would say about you to someone else that i would not say to your face. im sick of it ribar. totally over it. so fuck off. like….. forever. seriously. i dont want you slinking around poisoning my life anymore. i am really happy and doing really well and i dont want anything to do with you any more because all you ever do for me is make my life shitty. you cause me to worry about you and not enjoy my life because im sick over thinking you are not well. and all you have to say or do is talk shit to my friends behind my back?! everything you have ever been through in the past 10 years has been directly brought on by your bad decisions and choices you have made.. no one else. so stop blaming other people. i have tip-toed around your feelings because i cared about you very much and wanted nothing but for you to be well. but i DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE. i do not care. this is my final fucking word to you. if you are going to tell people that you arent talking to me.. or that im a shitty person at least get your facts straight when you lie to people that are friends with me.. because as you should very well know.. it all goes around and will eventually fall back into my ears. people who really know you.. know your bullshit when they hear it. if you have some unresolved issue.. it would have been great to hear it from you instead of kelly.. but dont pretend like you give a shit about how im doing. you need to fucking grow up. get your shit together and move on with your life. because right now.. you have nothing. and you are living in a piece of shit place that you could help yourself out of if you just tried a little.. but you do nothing but spread filth and shit over all you do and everyone you know. everything you touch turns into a heap of trash because you continue to let it be that way. i can not understand why someone would treat people the way you do. you are a sad sick person who needs all the help you can get. its really sad that you would constantly fuck me over when i really really did care about you. im really done this time. if you could find the decency in your cold fucking dead heart to do me a solid and just forget that i exist.. that would be great. i dont want to know you at all anymore. id be happy if you just stop talking about me.. or ever having anything to do with me. i really hope that all you give is exactly all you will ever get. maybe if you believe that karma is real and you get what you give.. you will change your thundercunt ways and become a better person before you really have no one left. i know you think all these facebook people and assholes that never talk to you.. or have given up on you… or treated you like shit are the types of people you want to be around… but i really thought that some where deep in your drug addled brain you would know that i was a good friend. better than any of them have ever been to you. but im wrong. youre just too far gone. no one is your friend all the time. no one is ever honest with you all the time. and when i tried.. all you did is treat me like shit. i really thought you would make something of yourself.. i really thought you would do something amazing and that you were incredibly bright and talented.. but you have let all of that just die off.. i would have supported you in any way possible.. and i have for many years. and all you do is CONSTANTLY make me regret it.. so fuck you. im over your issues. im over your melodrama. get over yourself and change your life before you have no choice. i would really be happy to never hear from you or about you ever again. i am happy and excited about my life and the future. i hope you will at some point be happy with yourself.. but i know you wont be until you realize how you treat people.. and how you live your life.. and change those things. turn that shit around and make things positive before you kill yourself with all the bile you surround yourself with. because youre fucking drowning in it. i feel sorry for you. but tonight as pissed off as i am.. in 10 minutes after sending this i will feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. it will be the weight of ever caring about your bullshit life. and i will sleep perfectly fine.. finally.
I don’t know how someone could project their issues onto me like that?It’s weird, when I re-read this, it’s almost if it sounds like me, (the me who should have defended herself years ago and stopped forgiving so much), was talking to HER. It still makes everything spin trying to wrap my head around around it. I mean, I was the one who was defending her constantly. When people said she was crazy, I would say, you know she’s got some issues, all of us do, but her heart is in the right place. She sure had me fooled. You know what the funny thing is? I did give her one last chance, even after all of that. After a year or so I just completely stopped talking to her, she contacted me and apologized, etc. I drove an hour and a half to visit her in her new apartment. We were going to spend the weekend together. She was unsympathetic about my hip issues and just seemed frustrated when I couldn’t keep up with her fast paced frantic walk. And, she had surrounded herself with 18 and 19 year olds. You’re 30, that’s weird. After one night of staying with her, and falling asleep during the day during a movie I had already seen, she told me “I think you should leave”. I thought maybe she had changed and that she really was sorry for the hell she caused me. Again, my stupid naivety, and belief that a vengeful person actually feels regret, had turned over a new leaf. And I’ll be damned if that wasn’t the weekend I had decided I was going to quit smoking. I left my nicotine patches at her apartment and I never even got to use them. Anyway, my head was going to continue to ache if I did not let this out.
How does one get people to stop projecting their issues onto me??