Okay, I admit, lately I have been indulging in some unsavory behavior. I don’t know why??? Coping mechanism I never learned to deal with properly? I tell my therapist what I do. It’s just, how am I supposed to fix my damn self? By words and worksheets and workbooks? It doesn’t work. She said I need to make myself healthier and stronger because I am so bright and insightful and have so much to offer this world blah blah blah. I’d rather take the latter and hang myself from it. I just don’t feel strong enough anymore and I am only 30.